Actions Speak Louder than Words

When it comes to marriage there are some myths people believe. One I fell for was that people fall in love. People fall in love, people fall out of love. This is not true!  Love is in reality a mix of many different emotions, not just one.  Love takes work. A mother stood in front of her five young children to teach them a lesson. She had her arms out stretched, she counted to three out loud “1…2…3… I just loved all of you!” The children looked at her quizzically. She then explained that love is not just words and it is not just thoughts, although that is part of it. Love is an action. In order for someone to know we love them we must show them. There is a poem that teaches this principle of love called “Which Loved Best?” It says, 

“I love you, Mother,” said little John;

Then, forgetting his work, his cap went on,

And he was off to the garden swing,

And left her the water and wood to bring.

“I love you, Mother,” said rosy Nell—

“I love you better than tongue can tell”;

Then she teased and pouted full half the day,

Till her mother rejoiced when she went to play.

“I love you, Mother,” said little Fan;

“Today I’ll help you all I can;

How glad I am that school doesn’t keep!”

So she rocked the babe till it fell asleep.

Then, stepping softly, she fetched the broom,

And swept the floor and tidied the room;

Busy and happy all day was she,

Helpful and happy as child could be.

“I love you, Mother,” again they said,

Three little children going to bed;

How do you think that Mother guessed

Which of them really loved her best?”

It is this way with our marital and personal relationships. We must show our love. 

Being a newlywed has led to a lot of joy in life. I find that I am constantly able to spend time with my best friend. We laugh together, we play together (I am convinced I will never win card games again), and we go on adventures together. Life is not all fun and games and it is not without struggles and challenges but it is more enjoyable with Rae. 

“Marriage places more demands on people than friendship, but the rewards are enormous for those who are able to work through the differences and annoyances and maintain a growing relationship. For some, the rewards are so immense that marriage is a watershed in their lives (Lauer and Lauer 1988:86).” A watershed according to Dictionary.com is “An important point of division or transition between two phases, conditions, etc.” There are many different reasons why husbands and wives love each other. Successful marriages are best built by finding the best in your spouse. 

I was blessed to marry my best friend. Something I did while dating Rae was I made a list of fifty things I love about her. I did not place them in any specific order and the list could have been more extensive but I wanted her to know how much I love her and what I appreciate about her. We have been married for a little over four months now and honestly the list continues to grow, but I think the first fifty would change a little, but the core would stay the same. She is my best friend, she is one of the sweetest people I know, I love spending time with her and love the laughs we have. I am grateful for every day I get to tell her how much she means to me. The smaller things on the list have changed slightly, and I feel as though the more we progress the more I learn about her and the more I want to continue learning about her. For you, what would be the top 10 things you believe make up a happy relationship? How are you applying these things to your relationship to make it more satisfying, happy and fun?