A little bit of background to begin. In my family, there are 5 children. I have an older brother, younger sister and two younger brothers who bring up the caboose (In that order). I am the second of the five children and was raised by a loving mother and father. While I was growing up, my father was diagnosed with cancer and when I was eleven years old he passed away. Growing up after that it was my mom and siblings left at the house. More the siblings then mom because she needed to work full-time to support the family. I am greatly appreciative of how she was able to provide for us.
At home during the school year things went pretty well. We got up in the morning, we went to school, and by the time we got home there was usually only about an hour or two before mom got home. Enough time for her to receive one or two calls when something had gone wrong or there was a fight. This seemed to be a daily occurrence.
During summer break, it was a whole different situation. Calls went to mom almost every hour. That’s during an eight-hour work day. That’s a lot of calls! These calls were typically met with phrases along the lines of “shape up or your grounded” or “Work it out! I don’t want another phone call!” There is one time I recall where my little brother got really upset. He was hitting and yelling and would not stop. My older brother took him, duct taped him to a chair, and carried him downstairs until he stopped and promised not to continue with his outlandish behavior. Of course, I do not condone the behavior of either brother, and I believe there is a better way for problems to be resolved.
When a parent is not home, the children have to work things out. If we had an issue with another sibling we needed to solve it or things would continue as they were. Rather than family councils, on more than one occasion we had “sibling councils” where we would get together and make plans or resolve issues that were happening or go over chores and their execution. What this did for us was create a sense of unity. At different times, there were different peacemakers. Sometimes it was the boys and sometimes it was my sister. No matter who it was it was nice to have someone there that was kind and wanted the others to be happy and do well.
Now that I am older I see that having siblings affects my marriage and the relationship I have with my wife. She also comes from a family of five. Last night, we had her family over and my two little brothers. We played games until it got late. It was a great bonding experience. An experience only family can help create. My relationship with my siblings has also helped me learn how to communicate with Rae. When you are with your siblings you learn their “hot buttons.” Right where to press to get under their skin and sometimes it is fun to poke and prod. With my wife, I learn what those are, but know the consequences of those “buttons.” I am learning to steer clear of those to help our relationship improve and progress. I am by no means perfect but it gives me something to work towards.
Siblings are a wonderful asset and blessing in this life. They help us learn, grow, and develop. I am grateful for the siblings I have and for the siblings I was blessed with when I married Rae. Family truly is one of the greatest blessings and siblings make a difference. What are some of the good memories you had with your siblings that helped build your relationship with them? How are you working now to continue to strengthen your bond with them?
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