Different Interactions

When it comes to family and life in general there are many different interactions we have with our loved ones. A good quote that sums up how some of us may feel at some point or another comes from “A Tale of Two Cities” when Charles Dickens wrote, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” The worst of times are few and far between in our strongest relationships but we still pass through the highs and lows with those we love the most. There are many theories that can explain how we interact and relate with others. A few of these theories are: the systems theory, symbolic interaction theory and the exchange theory. 

            The systems theory is that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Family, when it has all its components, is able to produce more than one person could on their own. Throughout the family there are different subsystems that interact. People in the family who have different relationships and different ways of communicating one with another. Within the family system, because the members of the family are interconnected, when something happens to one member of the family it has the effect of pulling on and putting stress on other members of the family. When properly addressed these stresses and issues work to strengthen the group as a whole. Thomas Monson said, “Good timber does not grow with ease. The stronger the wind the stronger the trees.” If we stay well rooted with our families through the hard times as well as the good times, helping our loved ones with their struggles, we will be stronger for it. 

            Symbolic interaction theory is one that I find the most interesting when it comes to the theories about relationships with those we love. Symbolic interaction theory says that everything we do has some sort of meaning behind it. Because the things we do carry meaning, people we love, or others in general, interpret those things that occur to carry a certain meaning to them. One example of this would be going to bed at night. I go to bed late, and I wake up early in the morning. No, it is not something I like to do; Yes, I do it anyways. Someone might think about that that don’t know how to manage my time wisely. Although I am not perfect in my time management, I do not do it because it is the wisest thing to do. I go to bed late and wake up early so I can spend more time with my dear Rae. Due to conflicting schedules, we do not get to spend much time together. Night is sometimes the only time I get to see her and I cherish those moments, and because of that I go to bed late and get up early for class the next day. It is a way for me to show her I love her. The symbolic interaction for me may be different for her. Although I don’t believe she feels this way, she could think I procrastinate homework until the last minute or that I spend too much time on social media and for that reason go to bed late. I’m sure there are better examples that could be used but that is where the symbolism comes in. Different people take different signs to mean different things. It is important to recognize differing views or understanding to avoid conflict and contention in the home. 

            Exchange theory. We see exchange theory in many of the relationships we are a part of. This theory says that there must be equal or greater value for us in the relationship for it to be worthwhile. If someone is constantly taking from the relationship without giving, we are more likely to give up on it or walk away from it. This is seen in many of the relationships we have. Old friends, new friends, even within families. To help build and strengthen our relationship Rae and I have things we like to do together. Sometimes it is a simple walk, other times it is watching a movie, a weekly date night or the occasional trip. All of this adds to the value of our relationship. It’s a way of showing we care. 

            These theories are all taking place within our relationships, they affect how we interact with the people we love the most and they affect our other personal interactions on a daily basis. How can you see these in your life? Are there any you feel affect you more than others?